A good many wives are utterly spoiled by mismanagement in cooking and so are not tender and good. Some men keep them constantly in hot water; others let them freeze by their carelessness and indifference. Some keep them in a stew with irritating ways and words. Some husbands keep them pickled, while others waste them shamefully. It cannot be supposed that any wife will be tender and good when so managed, but they are really delicious when prepared properly.

In selecting a wife, you should be guided by the silvery appearance as in buying a mackerel; not by the golden tint as if you wanted salmon. Do not go to the market for her as the best ones are always brought to the door. Be sure to select her yourself as tastes differ. It is far better to have none unless you will patiently learnt how to cook her.

Of course, as preserving a kettle of the finest porcelain is best, but if you have nothing better than an earthenware pippin, it will do—with care. Like crabs and lobsters, wives are cooked alive. They sometimes fly out of the kettle and do so become burned and crusty on the edges, so it is wise to secure her in the kettle with a strong silken cord called Comfort, as the once called Duty is apt to be weak. Make a clear, steady flame of love, warmth and cheerfulness. Set her as near this as seems to agree with her.

If she sputters, do not be anxious, for some wives do this until they are quite done. Add a little sugar in the form of what confectioners call kisses, but use no pepper or vinegar on any account. Season to taste with spices, good humor and gaiety preferred, but seasoning must always be with great discretion and caution. Avoid sharpness in testing her for tenderness. Stir her gently, lest she lie to flat and close to the kettle and so become useless. You cannot fail to know when she is done. If so treated, you will find her very digestible, agreeing with you perfectly; and she will keep as long as you choose, unless you become careless and slow the home fires to grow cold. Thus prepared, she will serve a lifetime of happiness!

From the Yankee Kitchen Cookbook…Author and Date unknown, but from the early 1800′s

Bachelors, epicureans, gourmets, and such –
Savor this book which offers so much,

It’s full of recipes; wondrous and light
With ambrosial decoctions for that special night!

We cater to one, we cater to all
Be thee grumpy, frumpy or happy and joll!

Be thee married – a blessed state indeed
Or on that front, be thee in need,

Pick out a heading that suits your mood
You may have a shock – but none too rude,

For both bored and intellectual minds
We offer great salads with lemon rinds.

For mama’s boys there are goodies galore
Enjoy them with love – while the others snore.

For the happy go lucky; the young at heart
We have sandwiches, pinwheels and lemon tart,

The repentant and the almost read
On mega doses of mithai and stew are fed!

We offer these suggestions with humble pride
But request you to take them in your stride!!

My friend Gitanjali and I wrote the book ‘Guide to a Gentlemans Chef’ some time ago. It was published by my good friend Bikash Niyogi of Niyogi Books and is available in the book shops. We were very sorry to hear about the passing away of Mario Miranda who had illustrated the book. Mario was amazing – he brought his own brand of humour to whatever he did. We just gave him the verses we had written that divide the book into different types of gentleman chefs. His sense of humour and wit manifested itself through his detailed drawings to match the nonsense work but he took his own time. You could not ask him to hurry or adhere to any deadlines. Gitanjali and I thought that we would give some life to the humour and some of the authentic recipes in the book by sharing a few of them on the internet through my blog. So friends every few days you will catch a few recipes on line. If you have any suggestions or want to share any other tips that you think may be relevant , do send them to us and we will figure a way to put up your suggestions
Cheers!
Laxmi Dhaul

Guide for the Gentlemen Chefs is a tongue-in-check book of wonderful authentic recipes sorted out in humorous categories By Laxmi Dhaul & Gitanjali Khanna

A Guide for the Gentlemen Chefs is a humorous attempt to categorise recipes (Indian, Western and Continental) not on the basis of their ingredients or their mode of preparation but on the varied nature of Gentlemen Chefs. This is all the more relevant today as it is common perception that the best chefs are male and today cooking is a hobby that more and more men are taking up. Cooking is a wonderful stress reliever!

In the posts to follow, we will be creating a substantial number of posts and suggested recipes for each type. Each post will contain a tongue-in-cheek verse, a cartoon done by Mario Miranda, a few quotations and a few jokes!!

I was thrilled when my husband informed me that there had been a request from the Pakistani embassy for copies of the book ‘Sufi Saint of Ajmer’ for a delegation from Pakistan! I had written the book several years ago and had preserved a few copies. Never having visited Pakistan before I was a little hesitant. Friends had told me “ they are just like us” and the phrase stayed in my mind whilst my heart told me “we are all one “ !

Islamabad was beautiful, open roads and wonderful monuments. Islamabad felt a little like Chandigarh – beautifully laid out in sectors and yet the terrain and people reminded me of Tajikistan and central Asia more than any Indian city! Dinner at the Monal restaurant on the hilltop gave us a commanding view of Islambad. A chilly breeze was soon neutralized by the sumptuous barbeque and live ghazal performance .

The next day I was delighted to have the privilege to visit the magnificent sprawling Faisal mosque with a background of green rolling hills and a light drizzle. Shopping for ‘Punjabi suits’ material made from the famous “lawn” a texturized voile cotton with trendy prints, everyone from India had asked me for one! Shopping included buying framed Tabriz tapestry portraits and other local handicraft.

Once there, close Pakistani friends, wanted to know how my expectations differed from what I had actually encountered in the few hours that I was there. Several years ago I had read the autobiography of Tehmina Durrani, a Pakistani English authoress titled My Feudal Lord who described her traumatic marital life with Gulam Mustafa Khar, an important politician in the Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto’s government, who later became the Chief Minister of Punjab. The book described instances where ‘patriarchs’ dominated the household , and women were considered ‘inferior’ both intellectually and socially. I was therefore really happy to meet people like my friend Ahmareen Allauddin who was a University professor and had just enrolled for a M Phil program and still did a wonderful task of bringing up her very bright sons and being an excellent hostess! I was told that the book I had mentioned was the exception rather than the rule !

My husband’s maternal grandfather Sardar Sant Singh Seble had lived in Rawalpindi before 1947 when the partition of India and Pakistan took place . We visited his home. I was told that once it was a huge rambling haveli of 22 rooms and had outhouses for numerous servants, horses and livestock. It had been converted into the ‘FG High school for girls’ a few years ago and was a huge neatly white washed well maintained building. Apparently he had owned 27 cinemas before partition and a huge summer chalet in the nearby picturesque hill station Murree. This visit to Rawalpindi had given us a chance to pay homage to our very loved ‘Daddy-ji’ by visiting his home. Daddy-ji had been a powerful and enigmatic personality and like thousands of other Punjabis had to restart life in New Delhi as a refugee !

Coincidentally the day we reached Pakistan was the Baisakhi festival and this we considered as a very auspicious day to visit Gurdwara ‘Panja Sahib’ situated at Hasan Abdal, 48 kilometres from Rawalpindi. A holy Sikh shrine named after the imprint of Shri Guru Nanak jis palm on a rock . Legend has it that Shri Guru Nanak Dev ji along with Bhai Mardana reached Hasan Abdal on Baisakhi in the 15th century . Under a shady cool tree, Guru Nanak and Bhai Mardana started reciting Kirtan with their devotees gathered around. This annoyed a local saint, Hazrat Shah Wali Qandhari, meditating atop a nearby hill. Bhai Mardana was sent thrice to Shah Wali Qandhari by (Guru Nanak) to request him for drinking water . The irate Wali remarked : “Why don’t you ask your Master whom you serve?”

Mardana went back to the Guru in a miserable state and said “Oh lord! I prefer death to thirst but will not approach Wali the egoist.” The Guru replied “Oh Bhai Mardana! Repeat the Name of God, the Almighty; and drink the water to your heart’s content.” The Guru pushed a big rock lying nearby and a flowing fountain of pure water sprang up flowing endlessly quenching everyones thirst. The legend further describes that the water source of Shah Wali Qandhari dried up and he angrily hurled a rock towards the Guru from the top of the hill. The Guru stopped the rock with his hand , the impact leaving the imprint of his palm on the rock. Observing the miracle, Wali became the Guru’s devotee. This holy and revered place was named ‘Panja’ Sahib by Hari Singh Nalwa, the most famous Sikh General who is credited with having built the gurdwara.

Travelling from Islamabad to Rawalpindi and then to Hasan Abdal we decided to visit the Taxila excavations. I was amazed by the colourful trucks on the highway. Inspite of their huge size and noxious fumes they emitted, the trucks absolutely transformed the landscape by bringing colour and variety. Each truck was more spectacular than the next, painted with vibrant motifs of birds, fish and animals, huge colourful flowers, scenes from village life. Most trucks had a religious symbol of the Ka’aba appearing on the left and right of the front of the truck somewhere towards the top. Apparently ‘Truck Art’ was a legacy from the days of the British Raj when bus companies decided to decorate their vehicles to attract more customers. Decorating and painting the intricate designs must be expensive but was truly in sync with the Punjabi personality – big hearted, colourful and vibrant. A psychedelic ‘home away from home’ for the nomadic truck driver who would obviously identify with it and take pride in his multicolour palace on the highway, an expression of his very own personality !

Just off the Grand Trunk road we finally reached Taxila an important archaeological site. The excavated ruins date back to the Gandhara period and contains the ruins of the Gandhāran city of Takṣaśilā which was an important Hindu and Buddhist religious and historical centre. In 1980, Taxila was declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site with multiple excavations at various locations. Excavation activity started here between the years 1913 and 1934 by Sir John Marshall, the then Director General of Archeeological Survey of British India who unearthed the remains of early settlement sites belonging to Neolithic, Early-Harappan and Gandharan Grave Culture periods. We were able to only visit the Sirkap mound which showed a city laid out with Buddhist Stupas, Jain statues and Greek sculptures dating from the invasion of “Alexander the great” . Laid out systematically on either side of a ‘main road’ we were told that the ruins were excavated from several layers below the ground . It was interesting to hear the guide show us Jain ruins and call them the belonging to the “Vegetarian God” ! I realized that there must be very few Jains in Islamabad and was amused how the local guide associated the religion by its vegetarian aspect ! Most of the interesting excavated statues were kept in the nearby museum which had shut for the day.

We witnessed the radiant orange sky with the setting sun which brought darkness to the ancient excavations at the Sirkap ruins, a truly spectacular scene and reminded me of my favourite Beatle tune ‘all things must pass’ !

Chimi’s Parade in Panna 28/29 August 2011

WWF and Sarva Shiksha Abhyan Kendra ( Gov of Madhya Pradesh) have a 9 month residential facility for the children of poachers of the Behelia tribe living in the Panna Tiger reserve forests. Prithvi Media and Praanah had been invited to conduct a 2 day ‘Art for Nature’ workshop for the 150 children of this residential programme. Even today the Behelias – nomadic tribals poach the Panna forests in search of wildlife. Apparently the population of larger animals in Panna has decreased drastically and even the number of tigers are in single digits ! Today wild boar and pheasant are caught and sold in markets in nearby towns such as Satna and Khajuraho.

The principle behind the initiative organised by WWF (India) and the MP Government is to rehabilitate the children of these poachers, by offering them residential facilities and educate them with skills to survive in villages and towns. All this with aim to dissuade them from resorting to the traditional occupation of their forefathers and improve their lives!

WWF (India) representatives along with the Prithvi Media and Praanah teams organised a 2 two day workshop in Panna on 28th/29th August 2011. Prithvi Media, a platform for environmental awareness in education believes that it can spread its message of wildlife and nature conservation by organising workshops, movies and publications. It has recently launched ‘Chimi’s Dream’ an animated film (dubbed both in English and Hindi) based on the story of a young boys dream about animals in a forest who are about to embark on a green parade to protest against man for spoiling their environment . The movie was shown to the 150 children at their residential centre . They understood the message loud and clear – animals too have a right to a clean environment clean air fresh water and pure air! The children were then given musical instruments and divided into groups and along with their teachers coined a slogan

“ Lets go forward ,lets go forward .

We the children of the forests have pledged to save our jungles.

We the children of the towns have pledged to save our jungles!”

The children dressed in white ‘Chimi’ T shirts marched in two lines outside their centre beating on their drums and other instruments, cheering whilst repeating the slogan and having fun. The hot afternoon sun beating down did not deter their enthusiasm and joy !

Over the two days various activities were done with the entire group of 150 children such as reciting of Hindi poems with actions, visualisation with actions such as enacting of wildlife and the growth of a tree, drawing environmental themes on hand cutouts and building a ‘Globe of Joy’ etc.

Sangita Saxena , Mita Nangia Goswamy and Soji James from WWF India supported Laxmi Dhaul from Prithvimedia in all these activities. Bhaktiveda Dhaul from Pranaah and her team Tarunima Sengupta, Kamia Sharma and Jyotika Katyal led the activities.

On the second day wonderful wildlife films made by musician and film maker Chinmay Dunster were watched by the children with avid interest . Each child related to the movements of animals and birds and clapped loudly ! The children performed plays one of them based on the story of Brave Amrita from the Bishnoi tribals in Rajasthan based on the Chipko movement.

It was a rewarding experience and it was decided that several Chimi Parades would be organised in various centres all over India.